Last Day (to my friends at Agency 128)
Today is my last day at the shop. It's weird. I've spend more time in this office than I have in my own house these last 4.5 years. Much has changed in me since I walked into this place for the first time. My eyes were wide with wonder as I entered what I had always thought to be "the real world". In many ways it was everything I had hoped it would be and more. But in another sense I slowly came to realize that though this job was better than anything I could have hoped for right out of college, it wasn't me.
I took some things home last night. Walls that once held my personal art are now bare. The ledge below my window that once held an assortment of various knickknacks I've collected over the years is now empty.
That's the thing about life, you know. You live in the now. You remember the past. You can see how it influenced who you who you are today, but you can never go back. The trick is to embrace all the good that came out of those times and use what you learned to help shape your future. There's no need to stare longingly back into the mists of time wishing you could be there again. It's like grabbing at smoke; the moment you try and grasp it, you destroy it's beauty.
I guess the way I see it, good memories are not just good times that you'd like to relive, but they are opportunities to learn about the core of who you are. As I look back upon these last 4.5 yrs I can see the parts of this job that brought me the greatest fulfillment were not actually the job at all: Lunch with Jen, a walk with Brad, a road-trip with Gina, a counseling session with Connie, some life lessons from Ross, shootin' stuff with Tim, talking about Silver Bay with Sandy, a bit of encouragement from Carrie, a friendly visit from Doc and basically the times where I was able to sit down with someone and kick around thoughts on why we are here.
This life is bigger than we often see it. It's easy to be rocked to sleep by the lullaby of a busy life and making ends meet. Slowly, our eyes close and be begin to lose sight of the inexplicable wonder of our own existence. However, for me it seems the opposite has happened. When I look at each of you I see beauty. I see joy. I see wisdom. I can see how the creator of all existence would see fit to pay such a price for you. Realizing that not everyone here agrees my assessment of the larger reality we inhabit, I hope you can feel my sentiment through any objections you might have.
This has been a great chapter in my life, but it's time to move on. I see this step less as a change in who I am, as it is more of an acceptance of who I've always been. Thank you for the part you have played in my life. I always cherish the time we shared.